Why Brooklyn Botanic Garden is frankly rather awesome

brooklyn botanic garden
This picture is the lamest of introductions to the kind of stuff you’ll see there

Me and plants don’t have a happy relationship because I accidentally kill them all. It’s usually through neglect (accidental), but sometimes through force-feeding (accidental) and occasionally through chucking them in the bin (part accidental, part because their neediness overwhelms me. Correct: children are a long way off).

When it comes to simply looking at/admiring plants and flowers and things, I’m no better. I’m just not very impressed by them. Roses are quite nice, I guess. And daffodils – they’re quite pretty. Beyond that, I’m about as interested as a carnivore in a hummus factory.

When we went to Munich Botanical Garden a few years ago, this was the ONE thing to grab my attention and keep me interested:

Fanny flower in Munich Botanical Garden
That’s Rob pointing to a flower called “Fanny”

After that happened, I got bored again.

Rob LOVES plants and flowers and stuff. So I knew that moving to Park Slope would entail a trip to Brooklyn Botanic Garden at some point. Unfortunately, the designated “some point” came on the day of a massive thunderstorm, hail and rain – so much rain, in fact, that 4th Avenue flooded and #parkslope was practically trending. But we went anyway, because I wanted to get it out the way and on with my plant-free life.

I ended up taking about 100 photos and oohing and aahing over practically everything. Brooklyn Botanic Garden is AWESOME (and I’m not even being paid by them to say that)! It’s amazing for so many reasons:

The descriptions on the little cards by the plants are aimed at children

Which means I can understand what they’re going on about.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden
My kinda explanation

It’s a huge mass of greenness and quietness

Bear in mind that we’ve been getting an average of three hours’ sleep a night, due to shouting, singing, car alarms, car stereos, ambulance sirens and glass recycling trucks (4am is the time they decide to pour a binful of glass into a truck filled with other glass – 4-bloody-am!). By comparison, Brooklyn Botanic Garden is just so tranquil and peaceful.

fountain at brooklyn botanic garden
A nice relief if you’ve only seen concrete lately

There are shitloads of REALLY cool plants

Take the one below, for instance; it’s furry! It’s amazing! Who knew plants could feel like this?

furry plant at brooklyn botanic garden
According to Rob, it feels like a horse

The collection of cacti is the coolest I’ve ever seen

cacti in brooklyn botanic garden
Yep, it’s like being in the desert. If you forget about the glass windows. And the fake rocks.

It helped me to finally understand what bonsai is all about

Basically, it’s about trees that are “trained” to grow in containers and therefore stay very small. They still look like trees though, so they’d work well in dolls’ house gardens or Legoland or Bekonscot Model Village.

bonsai at brooklyn botanic garden
“Special effects” (using bonsai) to make Rob look like a giant

The cafe does a grilled cheese sandwich with apricot jam

So even if I’d become bored by all the plants, Rob could have just plonked me down in the cafe for the afternoon with a plate of sandwiches.

I didn't actually eat one (because I was so into all the plants and stuff), so this pic comes courtesy of Google Images
I didn’t actually eat one (because I was so into all the plants and stuff), so this pic comes courtesy of Google Images